Zombies vs Unicorns edited by Justine Larbalestier & Holly Black
3 out of 5 stars (for the whole book)
This book has been around for ages and I'm sure you've seen or heard about it before now. I've almost bought it many times, but for one reason or another never did. Until I was at Half Price Books and they had a big stack of them at the front and boyfriend was super intrigued by it. (Not that I think/expect he'll read it, it's not his style at all.) So I finally gave in and bought it. I can't say that it was completely worth it; I can see why they had so many and why it was on clearance.
Apparently there's a lifelong battle of which is better: zombies or unicorns. I've never heard of this battle and I don't think anyone else had either until the 2 authors/editors/friends made it up. So they decided to gather up some of their fellow author friends and have them write a short story that will supposedly convince us which is better. Unfortunately, the stories are very up and down. I almost gave up after the first story, it was so bad. And the intros Larbalestier & Black did before each story really just annoyed the crap out of me. They were trying way too hard to be edgy and controversial, or something, but it just came across as obnoxious. I'm glad I kept going though, as I did find some gems and even a series that I'm interested in reading now.
Since there's 12 stories and I don't want this review to be excessively long (like it isn't already), I'm just going to do a one liner-ish describing each story and what I liked/didn't like about it. And consider this review full of spoilers, because I had some questions on some of the stories and would love some answers if anyone has them! I will say I started out Team Unicorn but by the end was firmly Team Zombie.
(I love Snapchat lol)
1. (unicorn) The Highest Justice by
Garth Nix: 1 star
A princess gets justice for the murder/zombifying of her mother, the Queen. Felt like something I would have written in the 5th grade.
2. (zombie) Love Will Tear Us Apart by
Alaya Dawn Johnson: 4 stars
A boy with a brain-devouring prion (zombie) tries not to eat the guy he's crushing on. Enjoyed it, especially the boys' relationship. Was left with more questions at the end though: had Jack been bitten before? Was he or his dad already a zombie?
3. (unicorn) Purity Test by
Naomi Novik: 2 stars
A unicorn needs to find a virgin in New York City to save some baby unicorns from an evil wizard (Harry Potter reference). Gave it an extra star for baby unicorns that drink chocolate milk. I was quickly becoming Team Zombie after this story.
4. (zombie) Bougainvillea by
Carrie Ryan: 4 stars
Izza's father takes over an island after the Return and protects it from the mudo (mute, zombies) and pirates. Until he can't. Best story so far, loved the before and after parts, and Izza taking charge in the end. Plus, I totally knew the pirate guy was the kid from before.
5. (unicorn) A Thousand Flowers by
Margo Lanagan: 2 stars
A unicorn leads a young man in medieval times to a girl that has been attacked. The guy is accused of attacking her, the princess. The second half of the story focuses on the princess, who is banished for being pregnant and unmarried. Turns out the unicorn is the baby daddy. Yeah. It started out decent but then got really weird. The switch of characters in the middle completely threw me and I lost track of the first guy for awhile. Guessing he was the head in the bag. And the ending was ew.
6. (zombie) The Children of the Revolution by
Maureen Johnson: 5 stars
A girl is hired to be a nanny for a famous actress in England. The children are a little...odd. Loved it, perfect short story. All I could picture for the actress was Angelina Jolie; pretty sure it was intentional. Who is taking care of them all at the end though? I guess the actress called in some people before she turned completely.
7. (unicorn) The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by
Diana Peterfreund: 5 stars
Teenage girl realizes she can tame and train unicorns, who are usually evil killers in this version. She raises a baby unicorn that she had saved from a travelling freak show but things start unravelling when the baby's killer instincts start kicking in. Finally a truly excellent unicorn story. I had knocked this down a star at first because the ending was so abrupt and I needed MORE BABY KILLER UNICORN but then I saw it was part of a series so I bumped it back up. (And added the series to my to-buy list)
8. (zombie) Inoculata by
Scott Westerfeld:3 stars
A small group of humans try to stay safe in a small camp surrounded by zombies. The teens infect themselves on purpose and don't turn completely Zee and run away from the camp. The real zombies follow, because they're bored. That's where the story stops, which is super frustrating. I like Westerfeld's books a lot and this feels like just the beginning of a series for him.
9. (unicorn) Princess Prettypants by
Meg Cabot: 3 stars
A girl gets a unicorn for her 17th birthday from her wacky aunt. She thinks it's totally lame and considers selling it on eBay, until the unicorn helps her get revenge on her ex-boyfriend. I would never sell my unicorn on eBay. A decent story. Probably more like 4 stars, compared to the other unicorn stories.
10.(zombie) Cold Hands by
Cassandra Clare: 3 stars
In Zombietown, the dead come back and get menial jobs, like street sweeper. Adele's boyfriend, James, is killed by his uncle, the current Duke, so that James won't become his successor. Of course, James comes back to "life", with Adele's help and accuses his murderer. Enjoyed it but was missing a little something; not sure what though. I liked all the zombies coming to James' side. Why could James talk but the other zombies didn't? And Adele seemed totally snobby after she became the Duke's wife-to-be.
11.(unicorn) The Third Virgin by
Kathleen Duey: 1 star
A unicorn wanders the earth, over hundreds (thousands?) of years, the only one of his kind (supposedly). He has healing powers that work on humans, but if he takes too much, he can kill them. This gives him a super high, so he starts doing it more and more. Guess what gives him the best high? Killing babies. Yeah. He goes thru a cycle of doing this and despising himself for it and wanting to die. Of course, his healing powers stop that. Until he finds a girl willing to help him, in a most grotesque fashion. I hated this story. HATED IT. Every single page of it.
12.(zombie) Prom Night by
Libba Bray: 3 stars
The zombie virus starts with the adults in this story, forcing the kids to step up and take control. (Similar to Michael Grant's
Gone series) A pretty good story but needed a little more, like a lot of the others. I read in someone else's review that the girl at the end, hugging everyone at prom and saying "sorry" over and over, was actually infected by her boyfriend and so she was bringing the virus to the small town. Is this true? I never would have seen that on my own. Also, who was coming in the tunnels? I need to knooow!!